A little over a year ago, I was walking down the aisle to meet the love of my life at the alter so that we could promise in front of God and everyone in that church auditorium, friends and family, that we would go the rest of our lives hand in hand together no matter what was going to be thrown at us. We would treat each other with the highest respect. We would continue to love each other with the deepest love. That is not a small promise, and we did not take it lightly, nor will we ever. We made a VOW, a COMMITMENT, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, in health. I look at my husband today and I am filled with more love than I can imagine. I love him more and more each day. Not only do I love my husband. I respect my husband and he loves and respects me just as much. I have full faith that this love and respect will grow even more, even more than we ever dreamed of throughout the rest of our lives, our marriage.
This past year has been a crazy one to say the least. Standing up at that alter last year, I never would have imagined our first year of marriage to be quite this eventful. Three months after we were married, Nolan deployed. Yes, I knew I was marrying a military man and that he could be sent away at a moments notice, but REALLY?! Three months after moving to Oklahoma City!! I was in a new city, which is nothing like the small town of Bentonville that I grew up in. I didn't really know that many people, didn't know my way around, and I wasn't fully used to the military lifestyle (it is a whole different world by the way). I had never lived by myself, and now I was being told that I had to live by myself in a new apartment, in a new city, not knowing many people, and not fully knowing my new military lifestyle. I was scared but I was way more determined to prove to myself and everyone else that I could do it. Luckily I had a few good friends that really helped me through it.
Soon after Nolan left, I got more comfortable being alone in my new home. I had a good job, good friends, and I was keeping busy to make the time go by faster; however, I guess I wasn't busy or distracted quite enough because three weeks after he left I find out I am five weeks pregnant. This was very unexpected to say the least. We had talked about having kids someday, but not so soon. We planned on having kids at least 3 years later. But silly us, we should have known not to make our own plans. God had completely different plans for us. So after I got the positive pregnancy test I had to tell my husband our surprising news...over skype. And he got to go to the first ultrasound...over skype. And he found out we were having a beautiful baby girl...over skype. Not very ideal but we had to make it work. We both wanted to feel like he was here experiencing all the fun and exciting things that come along with pregnancy just as if he were home with me. Despite being unplanned and Nolan not being home with me, we were unbelievably happy and overjoyed. We were going to have a precious little baby girl.
During those 6 long months that Nolan was gone everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. I had to move into a new house and soon after the water heater went out, and then the plumbing was messed up and flooded the bathroom, and then the garage door broke. I cant tell you how many times I got locked out of the house due to... pregnancy brain ( yea we will go with that). Anyways the 6 months finally came to an end and I was reunited with my wonderful husband. I cant express the happiness that was felt. I had butterflies all over again. He came back just in time for two baby showers, an ultrasound, and most importantly, the birth of Abigail Mae Burgin.
Abigail was born on December 26, 2012 at 5:24pm. She was 6lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. She was so beautiful!! I cant put into words how much love I felt. I just remember looking at her and crying because i was so happy. I had a healthy beautiful baby and I had never known this type of love before. It was so unbelievable to me that we had made this beautiful child, that she grew inside of me. I never knew how much I would love being a mommy. It is amazing to watch as she develops. She started out as this tiny little newborn who couldn't do much of anything and was completely dependent on us, and now, although still very dependent on us, she can smile, roll over, grab at toys. No matter how many times she smiles it never gets old. It fills my heart up with so much happiness every single time.
A month after Abby was born, Nolan found a lump on his neck. We were worried about it, but we never expected that it would be the horrible "C" word; however,after many scans and a biopsy, Nolan was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We have so much happiness about bringing a baby into our lives yet we get this horrible news that Nolan has Cancer. It was hard to comprehend everything, and it still is. It is very strange to experience so much happiness and sadness at the same time. It is also hard to comprehend why Nolan has cancer. He is young and healthy. He never drinks and has never touched a cigarette. We will never know why him, but what we do know is we can trust God and know that he has a plan and that he will get Nolan better.
My main reason for writing this blog is so we can look back and see everything that we conquered together and to remind us that we can get through anything. It is also to keep everyone updated on Nolan and what is going on in our lives. I try to keep everyone updated on facebook but I know that people still have a lot of questions so I will put more details on here for those who care to know more. I will also most likely post about Abby and other things that are happing in our lives as well.
Although we are going through a rough time right now, we have Abby who is constantly making us smile and giggle (she brings us so much happiness that we never knew before) we also have both of our families who, although live farther away, are doing so much to help up. We also have so many friends here that we love and appreciate so much (the Chicks, Andersons, Ritchies, Connors, Sutherlands, and Evan to name a few). Nolan's squadron is being helpful as well, being understanding with his job, phone calls, and meals. We are feeling so much love and support though all of this. Chemo is tough on Nolan. It makes him tired, sick to his stomach, changes taste and smell, basically makes him feel all around yucky, but Nolan is strong and everyone's support helps all the more. This has been his first round of chemo and mostly he is just really tired. He has slept 16-18 hours a day, if not more. Luckily the nausea pills have helped a lot for his upset stomach. He hasn't been in too much pain but he has felt really bad the past couple of days. Hopefully, fingers crossed, he will only have to do this for 2 months. He will have his next round of Chemo on the 4th of April. Thoughts and Prayers are much needed and appreciated. I will try my hardest to keep everyone updated. That's all for now because I am headed to bed.
